It was a rainy autumn day, just a week before my birthday, when I took my daughter, who was 2 years old at the time, to the playground. The air was fresh, imbued with the scent of rain, as the clouds took a break. I received a phone call from my husband, Cameron, who wanted to share something surprising that happened. While at REI searching for new work boots, a young female sales associate assisted him. They struck up a conversation, and he mentioned that they had similar personalities, connecting instantly. As he was leaving the store, she ran after him, handed him a note with her name and number, and encouraged him to text her.

He was fired up telling me about this woman and he was both shocked and flattered—like he had just discovered he had a secret admirer in a romcom. As he recounted the tale, it was like watching someone win the lottery; you could hear the joy radiating off him! I chuckled and teased that it must’ve been quite the ego boost. I trusted him completely, so I didn’t think too much about it.

When I got home, he expressed a desire to text her; when I inquired about his reasoning, he mentioned that he simply wanted to understand what prompted her to give him her number. I remarked that it was obvious, wasn’t it? She likes him and likely wanted to explore a deeper connection in a romantic sense. However, I was curious, so I told him to text her, but I wanted to see the messages. So he did.

As they texted, he told her that he was married. She, trying to be respectful, said she wouldn’t want to interfere with his marriage, but if his wife was fine with it, they could be friends. Then he had the audacity to ask me if it was okay for him to be friends with her and maybe even meet at a coffee shop to get to know her better. I couldn’t help but feel furious, questioning if he was seriously seeking my permission to go on a date with another woman. He got defensive, claiming it wouldn’t be a date; he just thought she was cool and he needed a friend because traveling could be lonely. I said that he could meet her for coffee, but only if I went along. He argued it would be weird to bring his wife and child, which made me wonder why? So he could flirt with her without his wife around? I told him that this whole thing was making me extremely uncomfortable and to please not talk to this woman again. He accused me of being controlling, but he agreed to delete her number.

The next day, I noticed he was Snapchatting with someone new; jokingly, I asked him who that pretty woman was, and he told me that an old friend from high school had commented on his TikTok video, leading them to reconnect. I brushed it off since he has a few female friends and I didn’t care, but as the days went on, I observed they were Snapchatting from morning until late at night. When I asked him to tell me more about her, he explained that he had a crush on her in high school and they had fooled around a little bit before she moved away. I inquired whether he still finds her attractive, to which he replied, “Of course, look at her!” I felt jealous and disrespected, especially since the day before he had asked to essentially go on a date with another woman. I requested that he please stop Snapchatting her or at least minimize their communication, but he again accused me of being controlling, asserting that he would not stop talking to his friend, especially since she was going through a breakup and needed someone to talk to. I was angry by the way he had been acting lately. It was evident he was seeking attention from other women for an ego boost, and my trust in him began to waver. When he would go to sleep at night, I would check his phone to find evidence of him flirting with his “friend” and to see what they would talk about. The conversations were mostly innocent, but occasionally, he would be borderline flirty with her. After a few days of this, I exploded at him and demanded that they stop talking since they had a history of being more than just good friends. He was upset but hesitantly agreed.

I went out of town with my daughter to visit my family for my birthday, and throughout the entire time I was away from my husband, I had a horrible gut feeling that something was off and that he was still in contact with her. When I returned home a few days later, I realized I needed to check his phone, so I asked him to put our daughter to bed, and he agreed. While he was busy in her room, I took the opportunity to check his phone, focusing on his deleted text messages. My heart sank as I discovered deleted messages exchanged between him and her, where he informed her of my absence and expressed a desire to talk to her on the phone. He joked that he was a bachelor for a few days. She responded that it wouldn’t be right since she knew I didn’t want them communicating anymore, but Cameron said that he didn’t care, insisting that I was being controlling and unreasonable. He went on to say that it wasn’t as if he could physically cheat on me with her, considering the distance, which made my eyes roll; it was as though he were admitting that if she lived nearby, he would cheat on me!

I stumbled upon another deleted message from a random number. Out of curiosity, I clicked on it and saw Cameron asking someone about rates and which hotel to meet at. I was confused about who he was talking to and why they would be meeting at a hotel, so I googled the number and found out it was linked to an escort! I felt this wave of nausea hit me, and it was like my world was spinning out of control. As I kept reading, I realized he actually met her at the hotel and paid her $200 for her services. I couldn’t believe it—it completely caught me off guard! I felt heartbroken, but even more so, I felt heartbroken for my little girl, as not only did he betray me, but he also betrayed her.

Once he finished putting our daughter to bed and left her room, I found myself trembling. I confronted him, insisting he tell me the truth because I now knew what had happened, and I inquired whether this was his first experience with an escort. His face drained of color, and he began to stutter, asking, “What are you talking about?” I revealed that I had seen the messages and knew he had paid $200 for a prostitute. As he took a seat, he claimed it was merely a hand job. I shot back, “bullshit!” arguing there was no way he could have spent that much just for “a hand job”. In response, he altered his story, stating it was actually a blow job. When I threatened to contact the woman and offer her money for the details, he finally broke down, confessing he had sex with her, claiming it was his first time doing something like this. He expressed that the stress and depression from his lineman apprenticeship had left him feeling unwanted by me, and being with an escort had provided him a sense of being wanted, however temporary that happiness might have been.

I informed him that infidelity is an absolute deal breaker for me, and it is not possible for me to remain married to him under these circumstances. He pleaded for me to consider marriage counseling, insisting that he has been struggling and is not acting like his true self recently. I told him that I would be willing to try therapy, emphasizing that he also needed to contact his parents to disclose the situation, as he needed to be held accountable for his actions. He agreed, and the following morning, he reached out to them…